Validation — The Creative’s Struggle

validation

Why do many creatives look to others for their validation? It’s not uncommon to hear photographers asking for validation from their fellow photographers, family, friends, sometimes even clients, to ask for their litmus line opinion of whether their work is satisfactory or not.

If the response is positive, elation builds and he/she feels like conquering the world.

If it is negative, discouragement settles in and the thought of never pursuing photography again becomes very tempting.

I know from personal experience, because for a long time, I didn’t want to pursue photography. I reasoned, “What if I am like one of those wannabe contestants on American Idol who only believe that they can sing well, but are truly horrible?”

I found myself constantly asking for validation from everyone I came in contact with. If someone complimented my work, I would say, “Really? Are you sure?” When I first started, I wasn’t secure in myself and I desperately longed to believe that I could be good enough–that I was good enough, but my insecurities prevented me from having such an unshakable, placid confidence.

With photography and any art form, there is always room for growth! 

When I first started my pursuit of photography, I had a lot to learn…A LOT. I hadn’t had formal schooling (unless you count the 3 college classes I took–one of which I failed….funny, because the teacher who failed me is now a fan of my work!), was just entering into this new craft and really didn’t have any idea what I was doing technically.

I felt so uncomfortable with not having any practice or knowledge base and resolved that I either needed to quit photography (because, I surmised, I wasn’t up to par with other photographers) or I had to do something opposite in it’s place.

I chose the latter.

I gave myself grace for the journey.

I thought about how unstable a baby looks when learning to walk for the first time. She pulls her Pamper-clad bottom off the floor and takes a few shaky steps forward before falling back down again.

Yet a baby doesn’t give up. She gets up and keeps going.

I decided that I needed to keep going too, even though I felt very inferior to the skill levels others were at as photographers.

I stopped looking at how other people were doing and started competing against myself. After each photo session I would ask,”Is this the best that I could have done?” If it wasn’t, I tried to dissect what I was doing wrong so I could correct it for next time. If I did do my best, I celebrated and tried to use those techniques in my next session.

I learned that there are always going to be people who are not as skilled as I am and likewise, there are always those that are way more skilled than I am.

Yet, my validation–your validation–doesn’t materialize or disappear when you measure yourself against where others are at in their journies. It comes when you measure yourself against yourself and where you are in your journey.

Instead of asking if you are “good enough” when compared with others, why not ask if you are doing “your best” when it comes to yourself? That is the real test.

The becoming a business and becoming a professional will attract itself to you as you grow and it will take flight on its own.

You won’t have to make it happen. It just will.

Rather than focusing on the outcome and constantly wondering if you are “there” yet, focus on becoming the best that you can be so that it will be attracted to you and it will eventually come.

It will be a by-product rather than the means to an end.

Give yourself time to transform from point A to point B, point C, etc….if you stick with it long enough, you’ll find yourself on point Z like you see other photographers you admire. You’ll no longer look for validation from exterior sources because the validation will come from within.

Give yourself grace for the journey.

Here’s a peek at when I first picked up a digital camera in 2003 and now in 2015. It’s quite a difference because I learned a lot in the process and grew. If I had rated myself against other photographers back when I started, I would have been discouraged and given up because I still had so very much to learn.

Give yourself grace for the journey and push yourself to grow.

“Keep dreaming, keep learning keep growing….and one day you’ll find yourself living your dream.” –Beba

before and after photo

There’s More to Life Than Me

Over the last 6 years, I’ve been learning that there is more to life than me. Life is not about what I want, but what God wants. As I’ve surrendered my dreams into God’s hands, I’ve found that God has taken my dreams from me….but instead of just throwing my dreams aside and leaving me empty-handed, He has taken what I have given to Him and He has molded those dreams into something new and even more wonderful.

“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” –John 12:24

When I first moved here to Arizona, I didn’t know what God was leading me to. I had no idea. Similar to Abraham, I heard God’s call on my heart and even though I wrestled with it at first, I heeded to His call and came.

Since I first felt that call 6 years ago, I have seen a pattern of how God has called me over and over again to surrender my dreams to Him and let them die in His hands.

I didn’t like this idea at first. But then I started to think about it more and realized, that if He were to allow those dreams to die there, He legitimately could.

He is God.

I am not.

But, being the loving Father that He is, He never seems to let what we surrender to Him stay dead.

He is the God who raised both Lazarus and Jesus from the dead.

Why would He not raise to life the dreams I willingly broke and gave to Him?

Jeremiah 29:11 has been a Bible verse I have held onto since I first became a Christian as a teenager and with good reason:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I truly believe that whenever we give God something in sacrifice that He either returns it with a blessing or returns it with something even better in its place.

He exchanges the plastic beads with pearls.

The rhinestones with diamonds.

The valueless for value.

When God called me to leave behind my job, my family and friends in California to move to Arizona, I thought He was crazy for suggesting the idea. But through the years, I have learned to surrender my dreams to Him and as I have, I’ve seen Him bless me in more ways than I could have ever thought possible.

God took my original vision of working for Disney for the rest of my life and transformed it into something He wanted to do to impact people in a different and direct way. He took me from employee to employer. He took me from not passing at school to being a straight A student. He gave me the ability to do things that could not have been possible if He had not given me the power to. He gave me the courage and the opportunity to travel and reach outside my safe little circle.

He began to form a dream in me that was bigger than myself.

A dream that reached outside of my own little world and that was instead focused on serving other people.

There is such freedom in that.

I’ve learned…..it’s not about me.

It’s about Him and it’s about others.

Life is kind of like a piece of popcorn–we’re called to live inside, out.

Not For Granted–A Gift To Not Be Discarded / In Wake of the Tragic School Shooting in Conneticut

Not For GrantedThis Christmas, there is something different, a change.

As we gather together this year, as we have done year after year, we cannot help but think of those who lost their lives in Conneticut. The thought of it is now seared into the hearts and mind of every American citizen and as fellow mankind, we cannot help but grieve with their precious families as they face this horrible event that was never supposed to happen.

This year, there is sadness…..but there is also a gift.

As we peer beneath the tree, we notice that a certain gift stands out from the rest and we have all recieved the same one this year. Do you see it? Go pick it up and open it.

As we read its tag and see who the giver is, we realize with somberness that this special gift has been sent to us and given to us by the children and teachers who lost their lives in the tragedy in Conneticut. Costing them everything they had, they are giving us something of great value that we don’t want to blindly toss it aside and miss.

Wrapped in fragile, we carefully remove the lid and peer inside to discover that they have given us the gift of “Not For Granted” {NFG} this year.

The other gifts under the tree that are normally of high importance, suddenly pale in comparison with this new gift of Not For Granted. We pick it up, turn it over in our hands and put their sacrificial gift on like a pair of glasses. Suddenly, we find ourselves seeing more clearly.

Not For Granted offers us a look at what is truly important in life and as we look around the room at those that we love, wearing the eyes of Not For Granted, we realize that our family and friends are some of the most valuable gifts we have ever received. We realize how short and fragile life is and hold them closer than we ever have.

We have all been given this same gift this year. Do not neglect Not For Granted that cost so much to give to us. Love each other, celebrate each other’s lives and hold each other close. This Christmas, embrace their precious gift of Not For Granted and realize how blessed you truly are–it’s not about the presents that can be wrapped, but the people that can be wrapped up in your love. Do not dishonor their lives by neglecting their gift–they have given it and intend for it to be used. Take it out of the box and use it right away. I guarantee that Not For Granted is the most important gift you will ever receive this year or any year after this.

I wish you a Not For Granted Christmas!

Let our thoughts and prayers continue for the families of these precious people.

Sincerely,

Beba

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